Fun Topic Science Jokes

[depthlover]

Noah opens up the ark and lets all the animals out, telling them to "Go forth and multiply." He's closing the great doors of the ark when he notices that there are two snakes sitting in a dark corner.
So he says to them, "Didn't you hear me? You can go now. Go forth and multiply."
"We can't," said the snakes, "We're adders."

[depthlover]

**MEDICAL TERMINOLOGY**


ARTERY: The study of fine paintings
BACTERIA: Back door to cafeteria
BARIUM: Patient disposition
BOWEL: Letter like A, E, I, O, or U
CAT SCAN: Searching for kitty
CAUTERIZE: Made eye contact with her
COLIC: Sheep dog
COMA: Punctuation
CONGENITAL: Friendly
CESAREAN SECTION: A district in Rome
COLIC: A sheep dog
COMA: A punctuation mark
DILATE: To live a long time
ENEMA: Not a friend
FESTER: Quicker
G.I. SERIES: Baseball game between soldiers
HANGNAIL: A coat hook
MEDICAL STAFF: A doctor's cane
MINOR OPERATION: Coal digging
MORBID: A higher offer
NITRATE: less than the day rate
NODE: Was aware of
ORGANIC: Musical
OUTPATIENT: A person who has fainted
POST OPERATIVE: A letter carrier
PROTEIN: In favor of young people
SECRETION: Hiding anything
SEROLOGY: Study of English knighthood
TABLET: A small table
TERMINAL ILLNESS: Sick at the airport
TUMOR: An extra pair
URINE: Opposite of you're out
VARICOSE VEINS: Veins that are very close together

[depthlover]

l. Where did Noah keep the bees?
In the archives, of course!

2. What did the two snakes say when Noah said, "Be fruitful and multiply?"
"We can't, we're adders!"

3. What was the first state mentioned in the Bible?
Noah looked out his ark and saw!

4. What kind of lights were on Noah's ark?
Floodlights.

5. Why didn't they play cards on Noah's ark?
The elephant was standing on the deck!

[depthlover]

Why did the skeleton play the piano?
Because he didn't have any organs!

Why did the cat run away from the tree?
Because of its bark.

Why did the mushroom get invited to all the parties?
Because it was a real fungi!

If an athlete gets athlete’s foot, what does an astronaut get?
Missile toe.

[depthlover]

How does a rabbit make gold soup?
He begins with 24 carrots (carets!)

What do you get when you pour boiling hot water down a rabbit hole?
Hot cross bunnies!

What does it mean when you see thirty rabbits in a row and they are all marching backwards?
What you have is a receding hareline.

What can rabbits have that no other animal can have?
Baby rabbits.

Which side of a rabbit has the most fur?
The outside.

What is the difference between a new-age rabbit that is preparing for the future and one that is getting ready for dinner?
The first rabbit will visualize world peace.
The second rabbit will visualize whirled peas.

[depthlover]

What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef

What do you call a cow with two legs?
Lean beef

What do you call a cow from Alaska?
An Eski-moo

What do you call a cow that has just given birth?
De-calf-inated