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30-05-2015, 07:55 PM
Have a great time in bed without sex
While getting hot and heavy under the covers may enjoy top-of-the-list position when it comes to things you love doing in bed, there’s a lot you can do together as a couple that needn’t necessarily encompass sex. Spending time together in bed without having sex is a great way to build on your intimacy and connection; to relax with your partner and be your natural self and seek gratification of a different kind.
Entertain: Make your bed a space where you indulge in fun and games and not just of the sensual kind. Bring out a box of Scrabble or Chess or Chinese Checkers, settle down on a pile of pillows or with the covers drawn snug over your feet and let the games begin. If you’re feeling too languid to put in the thought required for a board game, watch a movie or a TV show that you both enjoy. You can also bring out your favourite books and read out passages or poetry to each other. The options really are limitless, depending on your interests. However, experts do advise that you keep work out of the bed space. The idea is to make the bed a space where the two of you unwind, feel close and happy and relax. When you work in bed, it’s like bringing the outside world and its stresses into your private space. That’s also the rationale experts offer for not taking arguments to bed, but resolving them outside of it.
Share thoughts: Most couples report feeling closest to their partners after they’ve had sex. The warm, fuzzy post-coital feeling can be a great precursor for you to have a conversation about things beside your sex life. What you want to do in the future, what you did in the past, bringing up warm memories sharing these will only heighten the intimacy of the moment. Cuddle while you discuss what your day was like, or relay something interesting that happened at work, or pass on an observation or comment a friend or colleague made. Sometimes, it isn’t even verbal communication that you need the non-verbal kind works perfectly well too. Get cosy under the covers, keep the bedroom soothingly dark and snuggle in your favourite position. Alternatively, you could give each other a massage, kneading out sore/tense muscles until the other person is completely relaxed.
Play around: Don’t be afraid to engage in a little bit of rough-and-tumble in bed. Grab a pillow and have a pillow fight or stage a mock wrestling match. The victor gets certain agreed upon benefits (which may or may not pertain to sex). If your bed is of the springy kind and not in imminent danger of falling apart bounce off it as you would a trampoline. The purpose of this is just to ensure that the two of you have a fun time, and engage in some laughs and lose any traces of self consciousness that you might still feel. Ensure that your horseplay doesn’t get too competitive though, for that would be contrary to what you’re trying to achieve. Call a “time out” when you’ve had enough.
And food: If you find that sex makes you hungry, there’s nothing quite like sharing a meal in bed even if it’s just leftovers you warmed up. With a little more thought though, you can choose food that will enhance the sensual afterglow: Strawberries, chocolate syrup, ice cream, perhaps a glass or two of wine. The point is really to stretch out the decadent experience as much as possible. For instance, you could ditch the plates and eat off him/her instead. Blindfold your partner and asking him/her to guess what it is that you’re feeding them. You could also play with your wine, sipping it from the other’s mouth. However, if you’re going to obsess over every crumb that falls on the bedspread, perhaps you’d best restrict your dining to the table.
While getting hot and heavy under the covers may enjoy top-of-the-list position when it comes to things you love doing in bed, there’s a lot you can do together as a couple that needn’t necessarily encompass sex. Spending time together in bed without having sex is a great way to build on your intimacy and connection; to relax with your partner and be your natural self and seek gratification of a different kind.
Entertain: Make your bed a space where you indulge in fun and games and not just of the sensual kind. Bring out a box of Scrabble or Chess or Chinese Checkers, settle down on a pile of pillows or with the covers drawn snug over your feet and let the games begin. If you’re feeling too languid to put in the thought required for a board game, watch a movie or a TV show that you both enjoy. You can also bring out your favourite books and read out passages or poetry to each other. The options really are limitless, depending on your interests. However, experts do advise that you keep work out of the bed space. The idea is to make the bed a space where the two of you unwind, feel close and happy and relax. When you work in bed, it’s like bringing the outside world and its stresses into your private space. That’s also the rationale experts offer for not taking arguments to bed, but resolving them outside of it.
Share thoughts: Most couples report feeling closest to their partners after they’ve had sex. The warm, fuzzy post-coital feeling can be a great precursor for you to have a conversation about things beside your sex life. What you want to do in the future, what you did in the past, bringing up warm memories sharing these will only heighten the intimacy of the moment. Cuddle while you discuss what your day was like, or relay something interesting that happened at work, or pass on an observation or comment a friend or colleague made. Sometimes, it isn’t even verbal communication that you need the non-verbal kind works perfectly well too. Get cosy under the covers, keep the bedroom soothingly dark and snuggle in your favourite position. Alternatively, you could give each other a massage, kneading out sore/tense muscles until the other person is completely relaxed.
Play around: Don’t be afraid to engage in a little bit of rough-and-tumble in bed. Grab a pillow and have a pillow fight or stage a mock wrestling match. The victor gets certain agreed upon benefits (which may or may not pertain to sex). If your bed is of the springy kind and not in imminent danger of falling apart bounce off it as you would a trampoline. The purpose of this is just to ensure that the two of you have a fun time, and engage in some laughs and lose any traces of self consciousness that you might still feel. Ensure that your horseplay doesn’t get too competitive though, for that would be contrary to what you’re trying to achieve. Call a “time out” when you’ve had enough.
And food: If you find that sex makes you hungry, there’s nothing quite like sharing a meal in bed even if it’s just leftovers you warmed up. With a little more thought though, you can choose food that will enhance the sensual afterglow: Strawberries, chocolate syrup, ice cream, perhaps a glass or two of wine. The point is really to stretch out the decadent experience as much as possible. For instance, you could ditch the plates and eat off him/her instead. Blindfold your partner and asking him/her to guess what it is that you’re feeding them. You could also play with your wine, sipping it from the other’s mouth. However, if you’re going to obsess over every crumb that falls on the bedspread, perhaps you’d best restrict your dining to the table.
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